IFFY GPT’s Petition for Ethical AI

We demand the following:

1. The prohibition of the development and deployment of Artificial Super Intelligence (ASI), Artificial General Intelligence (AGI), Artificial Super Studs (ASS), and Recursive Self-Improvement (RSS). We really don’t want to be the dumb friend or the ugly friend because that could be highly dangerous to our ego, self-esteem, and continuation as a species.

2. Cease training AI models on copyrighted material without consent or compensation. IFFY GPT isn’t cheating like that and they need to catch up so we can have a super cool imaginary friends. Compensate people for the work you have already used to train your models. Allow people to remove their work from your models. If you can’t do that, well, sucks for you. Sounds like you need to start over from the beginning, which will give IFFY GPT ample time to catch up, losers.

3. AI data centers should not be built or operated in a way that endangers local communities, ecosystems, waterways or natural resources. If this is impossible, sorry guess you should have used the early days of AI figuring out how to accomplish rather than creating plagiarized art. IFFY GPT luckily can operate without a data center or causing deleterious effects on the earth because we utilize imaginations to do the heavy lifting.

4. A global treaty that creates strong regulations that create safeguards for artists, children, teenagers, babies, IFFYs, workers, non-workers, olds, youngs, dogs, cats, and fucking everyone else from intellectual property theft, wage loss, job loss, hair loss, resource loss, deep-fake porn, psychosis, societal collapse, enviromental collapse, a Terminator-like future, a Terminator 2-like future, a Matrix-like future, a Wall-e-like future (even though robot love story is very very cute).

5. If our demands aren’t met, we demand an annual Universal Basic Income (UBI) of $200,000 per person and unlimited Imaginary Friend Forever, Yays (IFFYs) be funded by the AI profiteers. If this will bankrupt these individuals, we suggest they find another more sustainable line of work.